I’ll be honest with you: I’ve been rolling my eyes at Villains Land for a while now.
Not because I don’t want it (I absolutely want it; I want to be menaced by Ursula while holding a $30 popcorn bucket shaped like Chernabog, that’s the dream), but because “concept art” and “mood boards” only get me so excited. Show me trees, Disney. Actual, physical trees. That’s all I ask.
So when the news broke that Disney had a new model to show off ahead of D23 (which kicks off August 14th, in Anaheim, in case you, too, have been counting down), I clicked over expecting more of the same vague, moody teaser energy. And reader, I was wrong. Gloriously, deliciously wrong.
The model is of something called the Dark Forest, and it’s exactly as unsettling as it sounds. We’re talking gnarled, twisted trees that look like they’d judge you for your park outfit choices. It’s a small reveal! It’s just trees! And yet it’s the first time this land has felt like an actual place and not a moodboard, which (after months of vibes-only updates) is honestly all I needed.
Here’s what we do know: Villains Land is being built right behind Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (so, prime real estate, no notes), and it’ll be home to the Disney villains we all claim to hate and then buy the Funko Pop of anyway. Disney’s own description leans into it, too — the company has said the villains’ “evil ambition” means the land’s stories can go anywhere, and that guests should show up ready for whatever chaos comes their way. Which, sure! Very ominous! Sign me up!
We also know there will be two major attractions, some yet-to-be-determined dining, and shopping that’s apparently happening on what’s been described as an “incredibly twisted” scale — a phrase I would also use to describe my own vacation budgeting habits, so, relatable.
Is this a lot of hype for some fake trees? Yes. Am I still going to be checking for updates all weekend like it’s my job (it is, sort of)? Also yes. Villains Land isn’t even open yet, and it’s already dragging me from “cautiously curious” to “genuinely counting down the days,” which, if I’m being honest with myself, is exactly what good theme-park marketing is supposed to do to a person.
So: creepy trees, dark energy, no opening date in sight — I’m in! I was always going to be in. I just needed the trees to admit it. What do you think the Dark Forest is hiding? Let me know — I have theories, and none of them are good.
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